Finding your own style

"All dress is a fancy dress, isn't it, except our natural skins."

- George Bernard Shaw

According to InStyle, "All fashion is about seduction." If so, personal style is a love affair. Finding the style that works for you requires intimacy--knowing who you are and what you are most beautiful and comfortable in. I'm not saying that we should get stuck in a fashion comfort zone. On the contrary, I believe that just like in a fulfilling relationship, our sense of style should evolve as we do so.

As you can see, I'm no fashion expert. Neither am I someone schooled in the art and science of style. In fact, the closest thing that I had to education on this subject is reading Cosmo--and even then, I had to call on my style-savvy little sister for help all the time. She would take one look at what I had put together and give me a poker face, which, by the way, is her subtle way of asking, "Are we really related?"

Before she left to embark on her personal adventure, we had taken so many trips to the mall together. In fact, we did it on a weekly basis as part of my "training." Whenever we had our budget prepared for shopping, we'd each buy pretty and versatile items. If we didn't have the money for it, we would window shop but do it with a twist.

We'd pretend that we were really buying an entire outfit, and she'd make me pick my items without her help. Only after I've made my choices and managed to put together a complete "look" would she share her insights. She would tell me which of the items work and which don't. More importantly, she'd explain why. It's as if I was a makeover guest on Tim Gunn's Guide to Style--talk about teaching someone how to fish to feed her for a lifetime!

Now, I feel quite confident about my choices and sense of style--just like what happens to the guests on Tim Gunn's (of Project Runway fame) show. It's not because I can now snag what appears to be a good bargain (with an "okay" fit to boot), but because I've found the style which is a genuine reflection of me: feminine but low maintenance.

One of the reasons why I keep this blog is that I want to share information that has brought me some feel-good, look-good moments. It's my personal epiphany. Even without taking a crash course in Fashion Design, you, too, can discover the style that you can be both beautiful and comfortable in--like a second skin.

To be your own stylist, all it takes is for you to be CHIC:

• Comfortable with yourself - Assess your strong and weak points and accept that not all the latest, most fashionable items will suit your shape, lifestyle, and budget. Be fabulous but keep your style true to who you are.
• Humble - Be open to suggestions and take criticisms in stride. There are always new ways to improve yourself.
• Independent - Know the trends but don't let yourself be enslaved by fads that only make you spend more and that may not even be flattering for you.
• Creative - Play with colors, and don't be afraid to experiment with accessories, cuts, and fabrics. There's no need to shop like crazy and spend all your dough.You can bring a whole new life into items that you already own just by being resourceful and innovative.

Lastly, check your motives. Wanting to look good doesn't make you superficial; it's your motivation that can make you one. Fashion and style should tell a true story, your personal story. As the great Coco Chanel said, "Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only. Fashion is in the sky, in the street, fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening."

Camouflaging Flabby Arms

I must admit that my arms aren't my best assets. On second thought, I wouldn't consider them an asset at all. Since I haven't been to the gym lately, my arms aren't exactly well-toned. In fact, during "heavy days," (Who doesn't have one? Oh well, lucky girl of the gene pool lottery, you are--in Yoda-speak), they get a little too flabby for comfort. And when that happens, there's that dilemma-slash-curse which every girl has to face: A closetful of outfits and nothing to wear! Even when shopping, flabby arms limits my choices in clothes, what with halters, tank tops, and--heaven forbid--even cap sleeves dominating the scene. Either go with these choices and end up shrinking in a corner somewhere or feeling like you've grown 2 extra legs. These or hide under a baggy sweatshirt. Whatever you choose, you won't feel comfortable, trust me. I don't know about you, but when I'm uncomfortable with what I'm wearing, I don't feel confident at all--and zero confidence is negative 50 on the fab scale. And the holiday parties aren't helping, thank you very much. What's a girl to do? 

Luckily, fashion is becoming more and more flexible, timeless, and forgiving these days. Why not use it to our advantage? I solved my issue about flabby arms and managed to look fab instead of flab. Don't worry, I'm not going to tell you to "sweat it, sista"--although that's really the best thing to do. It's plain and simple: camouflage--and I don't mean military wear (although the fashion gods are saying that's going to be in 2010's WHAT'S HOT). It's all in the sleeves.

Best Sleeve Types for Flabby Arms

The Batwing

Sometimes called a "magyar," this sleeve has a deep, full armhole that usually starts wide at the shoulders and gets narrower as it nears the wrists. Some blouses have shorter sleeves, tapering toward the elbow instead.


The Bell

As it name implies, this type of sleeve is long, flaring from the elbow or wrist. The flare is soft and flowing, and not exactly huge and ruffled.

The Butterfly

Butterfly sleeves are actually a lot more common than we think. They are flared and wide, especially toward the end. It is, perhaps, the reason why it is oftentimes confused for a batwing or a bell sleeve. Here's how to tell the difference: butterfly sleeves are not full sleeves, meaning that it doesn't go around the arm. They usually just cover the top of the arm and flaps open underneath. It's just that we don't see this unless we raise our arms in a pose reminiscent of Titanic. Butterfly sleeves may be short or long, so for the very obvious reason, I'm referring to the long one.

Juliette

Last but not the least, the Juliette sleeve is a fusion of the puffed and long sleeves. It's puffy from shoulder to upper arm (or elbow) and then straight down to the wrist. It is derived from Italian Renaissance fashion  (Trivia: It's named after the Shakespearean character who said the line, "wherefore art thou, Romeo?" No, it's not Puck).

There you have it, ladies! As a general rule, just make sure that when you  go for long sleeves to cover up flabby arms, NEVER go for fitted sleeves. It's just the same as growing 2 extra legs--except that they're wearing pantyhose.

How to Pick Your Holiday Outfit

'Tis the season to be merry! Unfortunately, 'tis the season us girls seem to get too stressed out. What with the shopping frenzy (read: panic buying for gifts and Christmas party outfits)--not to mention being on a tight budget--and the sense of impending doom of weight gain, I can just imagine how you bite your nails and feel like pulling your hair (or someone else's!) as you read my intro. Don't fret. Since I'm feeling like I have to get into Santa's Nice List this year, I'll share some of the tricks I've learned for picking a holiday outfit.

Choosing the right outfit for office parties and family get-togethers gets half of your To-Do list done. As much as possible, I'd like to shop before December hits. This way, I don't end up grabbing the first thing that fits my frame AND my budget. Aside from being a cliche, however, that is not always possible. Even the most organized shoppers often miss their chance at stress-free shopping due to time and budget constraints, such as bonuses coming in late, blah, blah, blah... So, here are a few things that you can do instead:

1. Get your most recent body measurement. It always saves me trips to the fitting room. You'll be surprised how much most women's sizes fluctuate within a 2-month period.
2. Do a reality check and make a mental list of your problem areas, such as paunch and flabby arms, as well as assets, like shapely legs and sexy collarbone. This should help you decide which cuts and fabric to veer away from and--by process of elimination--which ones to go for. For instance, jiggly arms and a potbelly tells you to steer clear of tight fabric and halter tops.
3. To avoid going over your budget or maxing out your credit card--and feeling guilty afterward for being sooo superficial--pick a top or two that you can mix and match with other articles of clothing that you already own. This way, you can have different looks without worrying about running into someone who goes to the same parties that you do. 
4. Instead of buying too many dresses, choose tops that may be worn in different ways. If you've read my previous entries, you may have noticed that I'm a huge fan of multi-layer wraps and multifunction accessories. They are handy especially when I need to transform my look from daytime to night-time partying or vice versa.
   
5. If you're on a really tight budget, scrap the notion that you need a new outfit just for the holiday season. Instead, just update your accessories. Worn with the right clothes, they can give you the boost of freshness and confidence that you need.

Lastly, feel good to look good. This year, I picked a silk tunic that comes with a belt and a camisole. I must say that I gained some weight, so I don't want to bare my arms. Aside from being loose and flowy, which is an "in" look for 2009, the tunic that I bought may be worn a la kimono (just tie the belt with an obi knot) or as an empire cut top or dress (especially if your legs are really fab). You may wear it with pants, leggings, a miniskirt, or shorts. And the best thing is that come summer, I can even wear it over my bikini (sans camisole and belt) for meandering through an exotic beach on a romantic summer night.

Wear your wrap-around as an asymmetrical top

If you've had enough of halter and tube tops, one way to create a fresh look is to wear an asymmetrical top. The main reason why I love reversible multi-layer wrap-around skirts is that they give me more to work with without the added cost of a new blouse. If you have one, here is a step-by-step guide to help you re-create the asymmetrical top that I'm wearing in this picture:

1. If you have a reversible wrap-around, decide which side you'd like to wear as an asymmetrical top. Once you've made up your mind, hold the ends of the wrap-around skirt and spread it out in front of you. Your preferred side should be on the outside (I'm assuming that you'd be facing the mirror, so that should be the side you're seeing in your reflection).

2. Place the strap over one shoulder (whether you want it over your left or right shoulder is up to you), making sure that one end of the skirt covers your front well. Remember that you can only look good

when you're comfortable in and confident about what you're wearing--meaning, you're not worried about any embarrassing peek-a-boo moments.

3. Hold that end of the wrap-around in place with one hand. If it's your first time using a wrap-around, it may be difficult to continue the task with just one hand free, so I suggest that you use tape to hold the fabric snug across your chest temporarily. If you're wearing a tube or bandeau underneath, you may use a safety pin instead.

4. With one end of the wrap-around skirt secure across your chest, wind the other end under your arm, behind you, and out under your other arm.

5. Pull it snug around your body and across your chest. You are simply wrapping the skirt around your body in the same way those red stripes go around the candy cane. Make sure that when both ends of the skirt meet, one end goes UNDER the one that's over your shoulder and chest. If you want an empire-cut asymmetrical top, wrap it OVER the cloth covering your front, and pull it tight just under your breasts.

6. Most wrap-around skirts (waistline) can go around an average-sized body only twice, which is good, because your top could look bulky otherwise. Once the skirt is wrapped around you snugly--not too tight that you have difficulty breathing, but not too loose that the top might "unwind" and come apart--tie the ends of the strap together. The straps should meet behind you. You can tie the straps into a ribbon or twist them together into a single strap and secure it with a safety pin. 

TIPS:

Wrap-arounds are usually designed to have slits on the waistband. These are meant for straps to go into, so you can secure the wrap well and also create different styles. 

Buy or make reversible multi-layer wrap-around skirts at 2 or 3 different lengths (mini, medium, and ankle-length). Why? Medium-length skirts are good to wear as wrap-around tops or above-the-knee dresses, while ankle-length skirts can be worn as long dresses.

multi-function accessories glam up your look

say goodbye to drab outfits and wasted hours trying to find the right accent. check out my fab find in cebu: a tri-color, multi-functional fashion accessory that will get you all glammed up without the usual fuss.

wear it around your neck, and sculpt away to create different looks . . .

. . . on your hair



. . . around your wrists as bangles



. . . on your arm as ethnic-inspired arm ring, or armlet

 

. . . go Greek goddess and wear it as a cord belt or anklet!

this is, by far, my best buy of the year. but then again, it's only september.

ways to wear a wrap-around

I love summer and sunny days! For one thing, they paint me a picture of white sand, turquoise waters, reggae music, and The Beach Boys. Sunny days are made for donning bikinis, board shorts, and wrap-arounds.

Duh, a wrap-around?

A wrap-around is a piece of garment, usually a skirt, that you can wrap around yourself in various ways to create a different outfit each time. Typically, a wrap-around skirt looks like an apron which overlaps in front when worn. It is also called a kilt-skirt by some, because a type of wrap-around resembles the kilt traditionally worn by men in the Scottish Highlands. Nowadays, wrap-arounds come in a variety of designs and fabric.

Make the most with reversible wrap-arounds

The most practical choice would have to be the reversible variety, as they allow you more versatility. One side of the wrap-around may be made from plain fabric, such as silk, and when you turn it over, the other side may be printed, such as paisley or plaid. When you know how to tie, twist, and knot it in several ways around your body, who knows just how many looks you can create? With just one fashion item that you can wear as a wrap-around top , skirt, or dress, you can still be in control of your budget, which is really important especially in these hard times. What's more, you won't have to worry about having someone point an accusing finger at you and shouting, "You are an outfit repeater!" (Gee, I do feel sorry for Lizzie Mcguire).

Get your creative juices flowing

If you're the creative type (or simply one of the gene-pool lottery winners who can wear their bed sheet and still come out looking fabulousa), lucky you! If not, don't be discouraged. Here are a few styles that can help you get started:

You can actually come up with more designs using just one fashion item. All you need is a reversible wrap-around skirt. I got mine as a present from a friend who went on a trip to Mexico (although I believe the fabric came from India), but you can actually have one made for you by a seamstress. When laid out, this looks like two layered aprons, with one layer smaller than the other. It also has strategically placed slits on the band through which you can slip one or both ends of the straps to make certain designs.

And that's a wrap.

My wrap-around is made by Kariza, and although I would have wanted to say that I came up with these myself, I must admit that the skirt came with an instruction DVD. Still, you can make a few tweaks here and there and voila! You can end up creating your own wrap-around style that's not on the DVD.

So whether it's spring or summer where you're at--or maybe where you're headed for a tropical holiday--you can start practicing the art of wrapping around. For traveling light, a wrap-around would be a good thing to pack in your suitcase. Live. Love. Laugh. Create! And do come back to give me feedback... even if it reads like "How I Spent My Summer Break" back in grade school. :)